My wife (J) and I were married in 2009, twice. Once in Thailand and a few months later in the UK. The UK marriage was to tick the correct boxes to get the correct Visa. No government agencies recognised the Thai marriage. It was a traditional village ceremony where our commitment to each other was sealed by two ceremonies. The first was a series of vows and blessings from Buddhist monks. The second was another traditional ceremony, this was from a village elder of the animism yogic tradition. The whole thing was out of my control and I had to let go, and go along with everything. The ceremony itself was wonderful. What I didn't like, was they killed a buffalo, which J's father expertly butchered.
I made a lot of tough decisions that year. Looking back it still has roots in what I believed my self-worth to be. J was great she was supportive, pushing (and pulling) me and having belief in me, but I still hadn't shaken off the influence of NM. My Uncle Stephen was also an immense support but couldn't understand why I was taking this 'lower position'. I will relate to some of the decisions I made later in the autobiography, although I am happy with the decisions made at that time as I dealt with it as I saw fit. Had I stayed with the general upbringing I gained from my school I would more than likely have made different decisions. I wasn't ready then to allow myself deep happiness and still thought the tougher I made my life the stronger I would get. The stronger I got, the less I could get hurt again. That was then.
Both J and I were on a steep learning curve that first year. Not only the general situation of marriage and the differences that brings with relationships with people around you. There was also navigating a whole new culture and language. She had also been subjected to that society brainwashing of work only coming from a job. She had not been given the opportunity to see how a successful business owner works or even the tools to learn how to run her own business. I had to get used to turning down opportunity which was coming my way to help to teach her these skills. Eventually, I conceded, and she took a job in a West End department store. The good news was this meant I could focus on evolving the business and the search for the retreat center.
I made a lot of tough decisions that year. Looking back it still has roots in what I believed my self-worth to be. J was great she was supportive, pushing (and pulling) me and having belief in me, but I still hadn't shaken off the influence of NM. My Uncle Stephen was also an immense support but couldn't understand why I was taking this 'lower position'. I will relate to some of the decisions I made later in the autobiography, although I am happy with the decisions made at that time as I dealt with it as I saw fit. Had I stayed with the general upbringing I gained from my school I would more than likely have made different decisions. I wasn't ready then to allow myself deep happiness and still thought the tougher I made my life the stronger I would get. The stronger I got, the less I could get hurt again. That was then.
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| Cats, dogs and a lovely park. |
Both J and I were on a steep learning curve that first year. Not only the general situation of marriage and the differences that brings with relationships with people around you. There was also navigating a whole new culture and language. She had also been subjected to that society brainwashing of work only coming from a job. She had not been given the opportunity to see how a successful business owner works or even the tools to learn how to run her own business. I had to get used to turning down opportunity which was coming my way to help to teach her these skills. Eventually, I conceded, and she took a job in a West End department store. The good news was this meant I could focus on evolving the business and the search for the retreat center.
Photo by Rodney Minter-Brown on Unsplash
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