Weird title? Talking to the processor. I'm sure I'm not the first, so I won't be searching the web. If anyone is reading this with the inclination to search, please do so. Enjoy.
Currently as I write this I am trying to update friends, family, or just anyone interested in my life since (originally supposed to be coming to Thailand) I left retreat. There is a lot left out. These are in the 'Belated Updates' section. I keep making reference to my autobiography. The autobiography will be hopefully just another piece of motivation to someone somewhere that even when life is against you, it can still smell like roses.
I encourage any readers of my blogs or non-fiction (if there is such a thing) writing to give me a heads up if they think my ego is taking over to the extent of it getting in the way of what could be encouraging, entertaining, or informative writing. My true fiction, that which I present as having not a grain of truth (if there is such a thing), I will leave to artistic license. I really want to emphasise that I do not give advice, merely showing options and decisions I have made. I am constantly changing, as we all are. My views will also change as I gain more knowledge of life.
The journey of self-development began around the time I was 19. The problem was, I had been programmed in such a way that it really was the self that I was concerned with. I gained knowledge but nothing really changed in me for the better. It took another ten years until I really took it seriously, and I am still developing daily. I thought I had empathy (without actually knowing what it was at that time). I remember an eight year old Seb sitting in a restaurant. This was a good time in my life, I had my close family with me. I felt that life could not get any better, I saw a man on a table next to us on his own. I felt sorry for him, I thought it would be so much nicer if he could join us, and have fun, as I was. What I hadn't considered was that he was having the time of his life also. Maybe he enjoyed the solace of eating alone in this fantastic restaurant. It took me about 30 years to actually understand that not everyone wanted what I wanted. My main teacher Akong Rinpoche, started a charity many years ago called ROKPA. The slogan is perfect, 'helping where help is needed'.
There are so many ways to view the slogan. I am sure that any readers of the blog will have their own take on it. I also have different takes on it from time to time. As a teacher, helping where help is needed: Do I spoon-feed the kids or do I allow them to come to their own conclusions? Any teachers reading should know the answer. Helping where help is needed. Sometimes we want to rush in and help someone, not because they need it, but because we need it. We need it to feel better, there is no thought for the other persons needs. As a therapist, as a gardener, as a physical trainer, if I can live with the thought of helping where help is needed my stress levels also decrease. I remind myself that I cannot solve the worlds problems 'helping where help is needed' reminds me that I keep things within my own scope of helping ability. I can stand back and actually see where my help is best utilised. I no longer spend sleepless nights worrying about the situation in Syria or climate change or whatever other worldly news takes up space in my mind. I do not ignore them but try to see, where is my help needed? Do I have the ability to help in the situation? Is it needed? It's a little bit like the how many (insert type of people) does it take to change a lightbulb joke.
I am writing these talks to the processor with the main intention to remind myself things that are useful for my own development. I'm just allowing the 'Big Brother' element of opening those thoughts for others who may be interested.
One story I heard yesterday was a woman who was having a real hard life. She was a very angry woman with many problems. She asked one of her teachers how she could solve her problems. She told her teacher of all the people in her life that were causing her problems, all the events that were conspiring against her and a whole host of other things. After her teacher sat and patiently listened to her, he asked her to do just one thing. He said at the end of each day, instead of just looking at the negative side of your life, write down all the things that are good. Instead of saying you hate your job, co-workers, life, etc., tell yourself you love all those things in your life. He told her it would be difficult at first, but to promise him she would try. She promised and did what he had told her. Six weeks later the teacher was giving a lecture in the same area. The woman approached him with a big smile on her face. The first thing she said to him, " I did what you asked me to do. You would not believe how all the people at work have changed! They are now the nicest bunch of people I could ask to work with."
The teacher just smiled back and congratulated her in another step forward in her development.
Currently as I write this I am trying to update friends, family, or just anyone interested in my life since (originally supposed to be coming to Thailand) I left retreat. There is a lot left out. These are in the 'Belated Updates' section. I keep making reference to my autobiography. The autobiography will be hopefully just another piece of motivation to someone somewhere that even when life is against you, it can still smell like roses.
I encourage any readers of my blogs or non-fiction (if there is such a thing) writing to give me a heads up if they think my ego is taking over to the extent of it getting in the way of what could be encouraging, entertaining, or informative writing. My true fiction, that which I present as having not a grain of truth (if there is such a thing), I will leave to artistic license. I really want to emphasise that I do not give advice, merely showing options and decisions I have made. I am constantly changing, as we all are. My views will also change as I gain more knowledge of life.
The journey of self-development began around the time I was 19. The problem was, I had been programmed in such a way that it really was the self that I was concerned with. I gained knowledge but nothing really changed in me for the better. It took another ten years until I really took it seriously, and I am still developing daily. I thought I had empathy (without actually knowing what it was at that time). I remember an eight year old Seb sitting in a restaurant. This was a good time in my life, I had my close family with me. I felt that life could not get any better, I saw a man on a table next to us on his own. I felt sorry for him, I thought it would be so much nicer if he could join us, and have fun, as I was. What I hadn't considered was that he was having the time of his life also. Maybe he enjoyed the solace of eating alone in this fantastic restaurant. It took me about 30 years to actually understand that not everyone wanted what I wanted. My main teacher Akong Rinpoche, started a charity many years ago called ROKPA. The slogan is perfect, 'helping where help is needed'.
There are so many ways to view the slogan. I am sure that any readers of the blog will have their own take on it. I also have different takes on it from time to time. As a teacher, helping where help is needed: Do I spoon-feed the kids or do I allow them to come to their own conclusions? Any teachers reading should know the answer. Helping where help is needed. Sometimes we want to rush in and help someone, not because they need it, but because we need it. We need it to feel better, there is no thought for the other persons needs. As a therapist, as a gardener, as a physical trainer, if I can live with the thought of helping where help is needed my stress levels also decrease. I remind myself that I cannot solve the worlds problems 'helping where help is needed' reminds me that I keep things within my own scope of helping ability. I can stand back and actually see where my help is best utilised. I no longer spend sleepless nights worrying about the situation in Syria or climate change or whatever other worldly news takes up space in my mind. I do not ignore them but try to see, where is my help needed? Do I have the ability to help in the situation? Is it needed? It's a little bit like the how many (insert type of people) does it take to change a lightbulb joke.
I am writing these talks to the processor with the main intention to remind myself things that are useful for my own development. I'm just allowing the 'Big Brother' element of opening those thoughts for others who may be interested.
One story I heard yesterday was a woman who was having a real hard life. She was a very angry woman with many problems. She asked one of her teachers how she could solve her problems. She told her teacher of all the people in her life that were causing her problems, all the events that were conspiring against her and a whole host of other things. After her teacher sat and patiently listened to her, he asked her to do just one thing. He said at the end of each day, instead of just looking at the negative side of your life, write down all the things that are good. Instead of saying you hate your job, co-workers, life, etc., tell yourself you love all those things in your life. He told her it would be difficult at first, but to promise him she would try. She promised and did what he had told her. Six weeks later the teacher was giving a lecture in the same area. The woman approached him with a big smile on her face. The first thing she said to him, " I did what you asked me to do. You would not believe how all the people at work have changed! They are now the nicest bunch of people I could ask to work with."
The teacher just smiled back and congratulated her in another step forward in her development.
Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash
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